Mental health affects every aspect of your life. It’s not just this neat little issue you can put into a box. ~ Shannon Purser
World Mental Health Day & dealing with my daughter’s mental health
Today is World Mental Health Day – an international day for mental health education, awareness and advocacy against the social stigma of our mental health. For too long these topics have been hushed up, as if people are embarrassed to admit they have problems or need help. And while there is more focus today on our mental health, discussions about anxiety, depression, suicide, and mental illness are still lacking.
Even before the strain of COVID and changes in lifestyles and school, the public schools in my school district have been focused on Social and Emotional Learning – those social skills to handle the stress and pressure we all face in life. But as we return to normal from quarantine and masks, there are many kids who still struggle with these changes. Not to mention these kids are still developing mentally and emotionally and have the normal stresses of academics, athletics, social circles or just even their home life.
I remember being anxious as teen. I remember the insecurities and the feeling of not belonging, but this was a time when you were supposed to “suck it up” and just keep going. I don’t recall talks on suicide or how to deal with my emotions. Of course, I got through it and while I am somewhat anxious about certain social interactions now, it isn’t debilitating.
When Jase started kindergarten, one little girl that we walked to school with had a lot of anxiety. She missed a lot of school. Her mother also dealt with many of those issues so she was able to get her medication at the age of 5 that helped her handle her anxiety. Today she is in high school and competes nationally in dance competitions.
My daughter Lexie has had her own mental health issues. As early as 5th grade she has had thoughts of self-doubt, anxiety and of cutting herself. She blamed a lot of her feeling on the ADHD medication she was on. We originally tried lowering the dose and then finally got rid of the meds all together. But even in middle school and without the meds, she continued to have those same feeling. It was bad enough that she asked to speak to a professional.
So last December she started seeing a therapist virtually who diagnosed her with anxiety and mild depression. About three months later, the therapist thought Lexie should see a psychiatrist about medication for her anxiety. The demand for both psychiatrists and psychologists is high right now. It took us three months to get into see a psychiatrist. And another four months to get in for neuropsychological testing so we can have a definitive answer on her ADHD, anxiety, and depression.
As her parent, I am working on understanding how she is feeling and what she is going through. It is sometimes hard not to tell her that this is normal and she will get through it. I have no experience in my past that will let me know how to talk to her about these issues even though I too experienced some of them. She worries that something is wrong with her and for awhile she worried that she would be put in a mental hospital. We assured her that wouldn’t happen.
She finished the last of her neuropsychological testing last week, and next week I will get the results. And we will figure out where to go from there. We will learn what needs to be done for her to feel better and learn to cope with her feelings. And there should be no stigma about getting that help.
If you are feeling suicidal or need help, and are in the United States, you can call 988 to access mental health services. And please, never be afraid to ask for help. If you want to find out more about mental illness, go to the National Alliance of Mental Illness website.
A return to writing
I have written before the benefits of taking a break from writing. It can be helpful to take a step away, returning to look at your writing with fresh eyes. The amount of time away could be a few days, weeks or even a month. And it doesn’t have to be a total break from writing. It could be just a break from your current project. Write something else – a new project or posts for a blog.
And while I would love to say that I have been on planned break, I haven’t. This is just one of those times where life got busy as I prepared for the end of the school year and a vacation. Then we returned from our break and went on another short trip. It just seemed like there was a lot that needed to get done and before I knew it, I hadn’t touched my current work in progress in four months!!!!
Now, it is time to get back to writing. The first thing I would suggest after any break would be to read through whatever you have written. You might highlight areas to work on or jot down some notes but the goal would be to read it all before delving back into writing or editing.
Another suggestion would be to set up a schedule or goals so you can stay on track and keep on writing. It may take awhile to get back into the swing of regularly writing again. Or hopefully, once you begin writing, it will inspire you to keep writing.
But realize that you may read your work and decide it isn’t good. You may wonder what you were thinking. Maybe you want to go in a different direction. You possibly might decide to scrap everything. And there is nothing wrong with this. Our writing styles can change. Our stories can fail to pan out. Find a new idea and go with it.
The one thing you don’t want to do is beat yourself up about taking a break. Why suck up your energy and focus on something that you can’t change? Get back to work. Do it in small spurts if you need but try to get back into some pattern of writing. As for myself, this is the week. This is the week that I get back into writing.
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Recipe of the month – Pumpkin Bread
Fall is here, and finally there is just a bit of nip in the air. Of course, this being Texas means that slight chill disappears quickly and we are sweating in the Texas heat. But Fall is the time for pumpkins so I thought what could be better than pumpkin bread. I found this recipe on Once Upon a Chef. The house smelled wonderful, and the bread was delicious. Definitely a Fall hit.
Ingredients
2 cups flour
1/2 t. salt
1 t. baking soda
1/2 t baking powder
1 t. ground cloves
1 t. ground cinnamon
1 t. ground nutmeg
1 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup) unsalted butter, softened
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 15 oz. can 100% pumpkin puree
Directions
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease two 8×4-inch loaf pans with butter and dust with flour.
In a medium bowl, combine flour, salt, baking soda, baking powder, cloves, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Whisk until well combined; set aside.
In a large bowl, beat butter and sugar on medium speed until just blended. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Continue beating until light and fluffy, a few minutes. Beat in the pumpkin. (The mixture might look grainy and curdled at this point but that is okay.)
Add the flour mixture and mix on low speed until combined. Spread batter evenly between the two pans. Bake for 65-70 minutes or until a cake tester inserted into the center comes out clean. Let the loaves cool in pan for about 10 minutes, then move to wire rack to cool completely.
Choosing surgery to fix my cat’s broken leg
One day back in July, our cat Nikki didn’t come home for dinner. This was worrisome as Nikki loves food and never is late for dinner. In fact, she often is asking for her dinner hours before it is time. When we found her later – upstairs behind my husband’s computer – she wouldn’t put weight on her back leg. Our vet couldn’t get her in the next day so I took her to another vet. An x-ray later, we learned she had broken her femur. She would need surgery to put a pin/brace on the bone or we would need to amputate her leg.
Now let me tell you a few things that would make most people hesitate to pay for the costly surgery – or slightly less costly amputation. Nikki is 16 years old. About 2 years ago, she was diagnosed with the beginning signs of kidney disease. We are giving her medication for that and the last reports were her kidneys were still doing good. Now, as the title of my post suggests, we went ahead and paid for the surgery.
Why? The simple answer is because she is part of the family. And even though she has some arthritis in the knee of the leg she broke, she is quite active. The morning she broke her leg, she was running around the living room like a kitten as she chased a ball. She is always outside – enjoying the sun or even still hunting lizards. We felt that we could still have some good years with her.
Or she could die in the next year. You never know. But we had the money and decided to go ahead with the surgery. They expected because of her age that she would take longer to heal. They estimated a 10 week recovery.
Today is 10 weeks from her surgery. And she is doing great. We tried our best to keep her in her cage but honestly we started letting her out more and more until just this past week when we let her roam the whole house (but not the outdoors.) We go next week for a follow up where I think they will want to x-ray her leg to check on the healing. But as far as I’m concerned, she is walking around just fine. She snuggles with me at night, hangs out with my daughter on her bed, plays in the cat tunnel and enjoys sleeping in the sun. We have no regrets on doing the surgery at all. We don’t know how long we will have with her but we will enjoy her while we can.
Into Another World 