Personality trait or attention disorder?

Lexie has always been full of energy. Because of her horrible eczema when she was little we often indulged her – allowing her to be a little more rambunctious than her brother. She was so uncomfortable all the time but always a happy girl. But getting her to listen and follow directions has always been somewhat of a chore.

Even her kindergarten teacher mentioned it last year. She was often always moving around and not seeming to pay attention, but she did well when tested.

Now she is in the first grade. We had her spring parent-teacher conference in February. In addition to keeping up with her reading tutoring, her teacher, Mrs. D, mentioned Lexie’s trouble focusing. She said compared to the other kids, Lexie stands out. By this time in the year, her teacher expects her to follow the rules and to work hard. But Lexie continues to get up during work time to come talk to Mrs. D.

We easily read between the lines that her teacher thought she might have an attention disorder such as ADD or ADHD. Of course, Mrs. D is not a doctor, but she has been teaching for 29 years – 20 of those at the first-grade level.

Her teacher did talk about how research has shown this is a medical disorder and through either therapy or medication, Lexie might be able to concentrate better – if she is actually diagnosed as having a problem.

Mrs. D stressed that she didn’t want to alter Lexie’s bubbly personality, but she was worried about her decline in grades and how she would do in second grade when the work becomes harder.

I have mentioned this conference to a few friends, and they have wondered what we wonder – is this really an attention problem or is it just part of Lexie’s personality that she bubbles with energy. She never sits still out dinner. One of my friends mentioned her eight-year-old son is the same way and he doesn’t have any attention problems.

Can Lexie pay attention? Well, yes if she wants to. She can spend hours playing video games or with play-doh or fake snow. And as with many kids, she would rather be playing than doing homework. Ugh – homework is always a chore with getting her to stay on task and finish the assignment rather than go off on one of the hundreds of tangents that she seems to want to go down.

Of course mention of Lexie possibly being ADD brought out instant denial by both sets of grandparents. We heard everything from the teacher is to blame (can’t control the kids) to she isn’t being stimulated enough (as in the work could be too easy) to she is just behaving like all kids do. This is coming from people who raised kids in the 80’s and have memory of parents being told to drug their “unruly” children. In other words, they don’t see this as a real medical disorder. Or at least not one their granddaughter has.

I don’t know what to believe. My husband and I have commented in the past that if either of our kids had ADD it would be Lexie. She appears to draw the short straw when it comes to medical problems. From amblyopia to eczema, she just seems prone to more medical issues than Jase.

I don’t know if she has an attention problem in the medical sense but I do know that I want her to do well in school. In her current state, she may need help doing that. So what we have decided to do is speak to her pediatrician about it at her well-check appointment, which will be next month. Once we know more, we will know which way to go with helping Lexie do her best in school.

Benefits of dialogue in your novel

I’ve written about many topics regarding writing your novel, including a few posts on dialogue. But I have never really addressed the importance of dialogue in your story. (To check out some of my other dialogue related posts, see the end of this post.)

Dialogue is simply characters speaking aloud. Now not all books have to have dialogue. If your main character was stranded on a deserted island, then he wouldn’t have anyone to converse with. But most books have at least some dialogue to break up the action. Dialogue can provide several benefits to your storytelling.

1.) Immediacy – The use of dialogue allows the reader to be involved in a scene. They experience what happened rather than just have the author or a character tell them about it later. Wouldn’t you rather witness an argument between two people than hear about it later?

2.) Characterization – Dialogue is an excellent method of revealing character. When you hear a person speak, you get an understanding of what kind of person he or she is. It can reveal if they are educated, funny, happy, bored and so much more with not only what they say but how they say it.

3.) Information – Dialogue is a way to deliver information to the reader. It can reveal people’s passions, motivations and more. This can be a way to get back story or other important information into the story without dumping a lot of information in a long story-stopping description.

Now how much dialogue you include in your story is can range from a lot (as in most of the story takes place in a conversation rather than a narrative), or you can use very little depending on your own preference and the demands of the story (such as the man on a deserted island example from earlier). There is no crime in writing a story with only minimal dialogue if that is your preference. But don’t avoid dialogue because you feel challenged by writing it. As with all aspects of novel writing, it takes practice to write dialogue well.

For tips on crafting natural dialogue, check out this post.

For advice on using slang and dialects in fiction, click here.

If you want help on using the right number of speech tags, check this out.

Quote of the Week – March 25

Imagination is the true magic carpet. ~ Norman Peale

Today’s Featured Author: M. Lauryl Lewis

Today I welcome horror author M. Lauryl Lewis to my blog. Here is an excerpt from her latest novel, Grace Lost.

Excerpt

I was able to hear Emilie moan in anger above over my own sobbing. Immediately after she cried out, I heard the sound of my revolver firing overhead. I felt my stomach drop, my skin went ice cold, and Susan began sobbing beside me. The flicker of intrusive thought in my head had been mercifully brief. Boggs stood and walked up the stairs slowly, leaving me and Susan to comfort each other.

“What was that?” she asked me, her voice full of fear and disgust.

“Louisa woke up,” was all I could choke out.

I knew the door upstairs opened because Emilie’s crying got louder. I could hear Boggs’ muffled talking, and I could hear when Gus broke down for the first time since I had met him. The sound of a grown man weeping is in itself a frightening and heart wrenching thing.

Gus’ expression of grief got louder for a brief period while he walked through the hall. I heard his bedroom door close and knew he had shut himself in the room as a way to cope.

“I have to go to Boggs and Emilie,” I whispered to Susan.

I stood, shakily.

“Don’t leave me alone?” she begged. Her face was a mess of tears and grief.

I held a hand out to her, and she took it. She stood and we walked the stairs together.

“Susan, go into my room and wait? I’ll be back soon.”

She nodded and let herself into the room I shared with Boggs. I hesitantly walked to the room where mother and baby had died and entered. The many candles that Emilie and Susan had lit earlier in the day still flickered. Boggs was standing at the foot of the bed, looking at the mother who in death still clung to her baby.

“Where’s Emilie?” I asked quietly.

He turned to me, his eyes threatening to spill tears of their own. “She’s with Gus. They’re a mess.”

“I sent Susan to our room,” I said.

Boggs nodded. “Louisa came back, Zoe. Gus had to…”

I interrupted to spare him from having to explain. “I heard. The baby?” I asked.

He shook his head. “It’s just been still. I told Gus I’d watch for a while, though.”

I noticed Boggs held my revolver in his right hand.

“Maybe it won’t happen,” I said, hopeful.

“Maybe not.”

They say a watched pot never boils, but talking about it makes it happen. It was then that I heard that faint tiny cry again, and felt the dead baby invade my mind.

Boggs looked at me for confirmation.

I nodded once. “It’s turned.”

He sighed. “What should we do?”

“I think a gun is overkill, pardon the pun,” I said through fresh tears.

“I’ll do it, Zoe. I’ll make it quick.”

“Please hurry, Boggs? Send him to be with his mom and dad?”

He nodded. I left the room and went to sit with Susan. I got to our doorway. I never heard anything, but knew it was over when the spark in my mind died. I hoped I’d never come to learn how Boggs had gone about it.

I took a deep breath, and walked into our room. Susan was sitting on the bed, her back resting on our headboard.

She looked up at me, her face illuminated by the glow of a single candle.

“It’s over,” I said. “They’re all together now. A family of three.”

“Can I stay in here tonight?” asked the other woman through her tears.

I nodded. “Of course.” I couldn’t send her to be alone downstairs or expect her to return to her room where the corpses of our friend and her baby remained.

I walked over to the bed and sat down beside her. “Why don’t you climb under the covers? Try to sleep.”

She nodded. “Ok.”

I tucked the woman in. “I need to use the bathroom for a little while, Susan. I’ll be back in a while.”

She nodded. “Zoe?”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks for being nice to me.”

I smiled at her, but didn’t put much effort into making it seem sincere.

I walked alone to the bathroom, where I intended to draw a hot bath and try to soak many layers of evil off of myself. I was filthy. I lit a large candle that we kept on the counter. I studied myself in the mirror. My clothes were mucky from our trek through the woods. I wasn’t sure if the blood smeared on my arm was from Louisa, the faceless little girl in pigtails, or something I wasn’t even aware of. Dirt was smeared on my face. I took my clothes off and piled them near the sink. I walked to the claw foot tub and started the water. Once it was warm, I put the stopper in the drain and climbed in. I sat upright and drew my legs up, curling into a ball. I cried openly, hoping the sound of the water running would drown out my sobs. I wanted to be alone. I ached from head to toe, inside and out. I was tired of living in a Hell on Earth and tired of losing friends. I was tired of being afraid day and night. The tub eventually filled and I shut the water off. I let myself slip under the water and hoped to soak my troubles away. I came up for air and let myself just lay there with my eyes closed.

 Book Blurb

After a night spent at a run-down cabin in the woods, estranged friends Zoe and Boggs wake to find that the dead have risen. They flee, hoping to find safety, but instead find themselves surrounded by their worst nightmares. Joined by two other survivors, they will face unimaginable horrors and suffer unthinkable losses as the rules of nature are rewritten. They will soon realize that the living dead aren’t just the shambling, mindless creatures that legends portray.

Author Bio

M. Lauryl is a wife, mother, author, former registered nurse, and nature-lover. Born and raised in the Pacific Northwest of the US, her books take place from seashore to mountains, often in the areas she loves the most. Her biggest goals in writing are to create realistic (and flawed) characters and to make readers feel the emotions of her stories.

You may find out more about her on her website or follow her on Twitter or Facebook.

You can buy Grace Lost on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Kobo.

Why doesn’t the tooth fairy and Santa bring equal gifts for all?

“Madison gets a toy from the tooth fairy. I hope I get one too,” Lexie says as we tuck the miniature yellow tooth chest under her pillow.

“I don’t think so,” I reply. “Our tooth fairy brings you money. Madison’s tooth fairy can bring her toys if she chooses.”

“Mom, there is only one tooth fairy.”

It is a predicament that every parent faces. Kids talk. They talk about what the tooth fairy brings them. They talk about what Santa brings them. And often there is a discrepancy between what my kid gets and the other kid.

Our kids get a one-dollar coin under their pillow for each lost tooth. (They get two one-dollar coins for the very first tooth.) But there are parents who give $5, $10 or event $20 a tooth. Or there are parents, like Madison’s, that give a toy for each lost tooth.

According to CNBC, last year the Tooth Fairy paid an average of $4.36 per tooth. That is up 25% from 2013 when she paid $3.50.

Hmmm….I guess that means I am on the lower end of the scale. But I am not about to change my ways. I like our dollar coins. They are golden. They are special from the tooth fairy.

(I don’t let my kids spend them. Otherwise, I would have to go find more coins. Nope, we keep using the same recycled set of 5 coins.)

Christmastime is even worse. This past Christmas was the first one where Lexie actually questioned why other people received more gifts from Santa than she did. She came home talking about kids getting piles of gifts from the big guy. In some cases, everything under the tree was credited to ol’ St. Nick.

This doesn’t happen at our house. When we had kids, my husband and I had to establish our Santa rules. I don’t recall if we even discussed whether or not to introduce Santa to Jase. I think that was a given. And we didn’t really combine or take one person’s experiences over the other. We started our own traditions.

I didn’t want all gifts to be from Santa. If I am going to spend my money buying all these gifts, I want the credit for the cool stuff. So we decided one gift from Santa, and the rest would be from us. So the kids see our gifts leading up to Christmas but of course Santa leaves his wrapped gift in front of the fireplace. He also fills their stockings with lots of smaller goodies – candy, books, toys.

When the kids were younger, they really didn’t differentiate between Santa’s gifts and those from us or the grandparents. Even now, I didn’t realize they paid attention to what gift was from whom until Lexie brought up the whole ‘why do we only get one gift from Santa?’ thing.

I don’t know any way around the tooth fairy/Santa Claus issue. Kids aren’t going to stop talking about these figures and what they bring. And parents are never going to get on the same page. I guess I will keep dodging the questions until my kids stop believing in the tooth fairy and Santa.