A wedding without an invitation

weddingWe went to a wedding earlier this month – a wedding we never received a formal invitation asking us to attend. No, we weren’t wedding crashers.

It was a ceremony for someone my husband met in law school. I wouldn’t categorize her as a “close” friend. This friendship has waned a bit as friendships do. It doesn’t help that we don’t live in the same town.

Mercy and Adam have been together quite a while. They have two kids – the oldest being six. They finally decided to make their relationship “official” this past May. They decided not to have a big wedding and not to have a long engagement. I guess eight or so years together was enough.

A few weeks later we got a “save the date” text from Mercy. They were to get married Saturday, Sept 7th. As the next few months went by we would hear a few other details – Mercy bought her dress (cost $1000), they signed up for a bridal registry at Williams-Sonoma and such.

I kept waiting for an official invitation. Heck we didn’t even know where the wedding was (other than in San Antonio) and what time of day it would be. (That make lining up a babysitter really hard though Mercy told us we could bring the kids to the wedding after all her two kids would be there. Ah, no. Not something I want to do. They would be bored and driving me crazy.)

Finally, it was August and the wedding was five weeks away. No invitation. My husband texted Mercy. She said she was still working on them. Two weeks go by and no invitation. I am starting to wonder if there is even going to be a wedding. And I was still wondering how we are going to line up a babysitter with no information. (About this time my mom was in the hospital, and my father-in-law was scheduled for surgery at the end of August, so I was thinking my choice of babysitters might be slim with everyone recuperating.)

Finally, Mercy admits that she is having a hard time justifying spending money on invitations. Umm…you spent $1000 on a wedding dress that you will only get to wear once, but you can’t afford invitations? She can do her bridal registry for expensive items from William-Sonoma but can’t get out an actual invitation to her wedding?

I know wedding invitations are expensive, but she is only inviting a few friends and family. She probably doesn’t need more than 30-40 invitations. With all the options online nowadays, I am sure there are some cheap options. Heck, if she is really opting to save money. she could go to Wal-Mart and buy some fill-in-the-blank type invitations.

And while I am a traditionalist and would like a printed invitation, I know the times are changing. In a world where you are more likely to get an e-invite than a physical invitation I would rather have that than nothing. At least then we would have all the details. As it is, we had to piece together through several texts to find out the date, time and location. We were never even asked to RSVP. I couldn’t figure out how she was planning a dinner reception without knowing who will be there.

As it turned out, everything went fine – except we were five minutes late due to a traffic jam and pretty much missed all of the 7 minute ceremony. The bride looked beautiful and the reception was nice. I guess everything turned out okay but I must admit – I still think she should have sent out some sort of invitation. If nothing else, it will keep me from going crazy.